When I first started this blog I wrote up a lot of battle reports but as time went by I found that I was only doing tournament reports. So here is a one-off report for Warmachine, a game I love to play even though I’m quite awful at it.
I’ve had a hankering to run Minions again in Warmachine, but this time we were using (mostly) the correct miniatures so I thought I’d set up another thread to document my ineffectual flailing through this wonderful game. Joe wanted to try out some of the CID Pirate stuff so we threw down.
Invasion (scenario 4) vs Joe’s Mercenaries
Minion Army – 75 / 75 points
[Theme] Will Work for Food
[Jaga-Jaga 1] Jaga-Jaga, the Death Charmer [+27]
– Blackhide Wrastler 
– Swamp Horror 
– Swamp Horror 
– Gatorman Soul Slave [0(5)]
Brun Cragback 
Orin Midwinter, Rogue Inquisitor [0(5)]
Totem Hunter [0(6)]
Farrow Valkyries 
Greygore Boomhowler & Co. (max) 
The basic idea of the list is to leverage Rage-d, Signs and Portents, Overtake Swamp Horrors because that sounds quite amusing. My main dilemma was what infantry to take for Jaga Jaga’s Feat turn. In the end I settled on Boomhowlers as they have decent armour and could possibly contribute in a jamming role even if I couldn’t get a good Feat turn out. I probably slightly prefer Nyss in the role but in this case the high defence / low armour is obviously less helpful. I had a Dr Arkadius list as a back-up that I’m also quite excited to try out but never really intended to use it here. Thanks to the extensiveness of Joe’s collection, Calaban is a proxy for Jaga Jaga and a pair of Trolls are representing the Swamp Horrors.
Mercenary Army – 75 / 75 points
[Theme] The Talion Charter
!!! This army contains CID entries.
[Rahera 1] Captain Rahera, Terror of the Wailing Sea [+28]
– Blockader 
– Freebooter 
– Swashbuckler 
– Swashbuckler 
– Swashbuckler 
Bosun Grogspar [0(5)]
Lord Rockbottom [0(4)]
Powder Monkey [0(2)]
Powder Monkey 
Powder Monkey 
Lady Aiyana & Master Holt 
The Commodore Cannon & Crew 
Scharde Pirates (max) 
– Scharde Pirate Officer 
I think almost everything here is in CID one way or another. I’m not going to comment on any CID game balance matters because a) I’m terrible at WarmaHordes and b) I have no idea what the Pirate stuff did before so any change is meaningless to me. Needless to say, there are a ton of proxies here but I think that most of them are quite straightforward; notably the Scharde Pirates are represented by some of my old Press Gangers and the Commodore Cannon is played by a Road Hog.
Turn 1: Mercenaries
Captain Rahera casts Escort and Rough Seas, then pretty much everything runs forward. Slightly to my surprise, Joe has the light Warjacks screening his Scharde Pirates and not the other way around.
Turn 1: Minions
I also run my stuff forward, though I’m a bit more circumspect about it in order to respect the threat ranges of Joe’s front line. I’m not so worried about the shooting elements as that has me outranged anyway. I’ve deployed the Totem Hunter in a stupid place so it has to run over to the middle to get Grave Wind (I’d planned to start with it in the centre and run to hassle the flanks). Battle Host is also cast.
Turn 2: Mercenaries
Rahera upkeeps Escort and allocates one Focus to the Swashbuckler on my left. The Commodore Cannon slams Lug back and knocks it down. Various Powder Monkeys Empower the left Swashbuckler and the Blockader so they’re both full. The Blockader saunters forward and vaporises the poor Totem Hunter (100% player error on my side) and a couple of random Boomhowlers. The Swashbuckler charges through the Blockader and kills another.
Turn 2: Minions
The Soul Slave upkeeps Battle Host on Jaga Jaga’s behalf. Lug stands up and runs toward the action. The Soul Slave puts ghostly on the Boomhowlers; four of them run deep in preparation for their untimely death at the hands of their employer (they’re mercenaries, they knew what they were signing up for) and the rest move to get in the Blockader’s way. Boomhowler himself sings Cacophony. I have a slight activation order issue in that I’ve blocked Jaga Jaga from moving forward so the Wrastler puts Rage on the right Swamp Horror and takes a nice chunk out of the Freebooter. Jaga Jaga casts Signs and Portents and Rages the second Swamp Horror. She also Feats on four Boomhowlers, killing Aiyana, Holt, Lord Rockbottom and putting a little damage onto Rahera. The Swamp Horrors go in with crazy dice; the one on the right finishes the Freebooter and drops the Swashbuckler while the one on the left kills its Swashbuckler and smacks the Blockader a little. Finally, the Valkyries ding up the last Swashbuckler and Brine finishes it off. Sadly, I’m an idiot and don’t move the third Valkyrie into the right zone which would have allowed me to score. 0 – 0.
Turn 3: Mercenaries
Rahera allocates nothing but upkeeps Escort. The Monkeys fill up the Blockader again and the Commodore Cannon slams Lug to the ground again. Rahera Feats, charges Boomhowler through the Blockader and sprints back behind the house where she started. The Blockader repositions slightly and kills the last Boomhowler, Lug and the Swamp Horror. The Scharde Pirates use No Quarter and slam into my front line. 0 – 0.
Turn 3: Minions
Battle Host is upkept. Jaga Jaga casts Signs and Portents and backs nervously away from Rahera and the Blockader. The Valkyries begin the process of clearing out the Scharde Pirates (and are careful to all end up in the right zone this time) and Rorsh contributes too. Brine charges across and kills Bosun Grogspar and overtakes nicely around to deal with some more of the Pirates. The Wrastler kills even more to heal up and clear the Swamp Horror. Orin hits the Objective with Chain Lightning and the electroleaps kill all three Powder Monkeys. One of them kills him in return after falling from the sky from halfway across the board which was quite surprising. The Soul Slave puts Rage on the Swamp Horror and it goes all in on Rahera [edit: actually this isn’t allowed. Oops!]. Sadly for me she toughs the last attack and I have nothing left to finish her with.
Turn 4: Mercenaries
Rahera drops Escort and stands up. She then charges Jaga Jaga and burns through all my transfers. The Commodore Cannon slams the Swamp Horror but I’m less annoyed this time because at least the Horror has Steady. The Blockader walks round but can’t finish Jaga Jaga. 2 – 0
Turn 4: Minions
Brine annoyingly Frenzies into the Wrastler, taking out its mind. We discuss whether it is worth casting Signs and Portents and eventually decide that it is not. So Jaga Jaga kills Rahera on the first attack; she doesn’t get tough this time. Minions win by Assassination.
I really enjoyed that game, and of course each time I play Joe it is a pleasure. The Swamp Horrors were just as entertaining as I had hoped, though the dice were really on my side in my turn 2. Things I learned:
- Lug is probably best when he is actually standing up instead of being constantly knocked down and slammed back. I’ll try him again.
- My deployment and positioning need a lot of improvement. In particular it cost me the Totem Hunter before it could do anything more useful than waste some precious Fury casting Grave Wind on it.
- Boomhowlers were adequate as Feat targets in this list; they were good enough to contribute while also being high enough armour to make the Feat effective.